The Famous Grouse

This is not the first time when I drink The Famous Grouse Blended Scotch Whisky, I just hope it’s the last one. Every time I open a new bottle I usually ask my wife to take a sniff. She’s not a big whisky fan (wine and Martini person) but she doesn’t mind inhaling some of its vapours from time to time. I really value my wife’s opinion. It’s always interesting. This time it was simple “moonshine and sulphur”. Intriguing start for a review.

The Famous Grouse apparently is one of the world's most popular blends, and the best-selling Scotch whisky in Scotland. Well, you never know, don’t you?
Story. 
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, which means before Covid, I used to host my family over Christmas. Every single year, and the same people over and over again. My brother-in-law (there’s a saying in Poland: blood pudding is not a meat, and a brother-in-law is not a family) with his wife and two sons. Statement. As an introvert and a sociopath I really enjoyed all those visits. Honestly, I did, and I look forward to more of them when all this Covid nonsense is gone as I really like them. We always had a good time, talks, watching films, and a lot of food and drinks. Men had a lot to choose from: beer, Guinness, vodka and whisky. We did like our time together, but there was one flaw in all of this. Every single year my brother-in-law, Marek, used to bring home a bottle of The Famous Grouse. I really don’t know why, maybe it was the price, I never asked. In those old days before the virus I didn't enjoy whisky the way I do now. I used to pour it inside as quickly as I could. My favourite Jack Daniel’s was not different from the Grouse or other cheap brands, I surely know it now. Marek, tireless, used to offer me the Grouse over and over again and it was so poor for me, I stopped drinking it and got stuck to Guinness. Over time, I forgot its taste as for two long years Marek was not able to offer me a glorious dram, a token of his friendship.

I decided to buy a bottle of The Famous Grouse right now. The only reason is, I don't remember its taste. I know it was something awful but, for the first time, I wanted to experience it fully, being aware and conscious. Plus, the price was good. In fact hardly ever you can get something cheaper than this. My wife just looked at me and said “why”. I have to know, I replied.
A bottle is a bottle. Let’s not elaborate over it and let’s not waste the time to describe the colour of what’s inside. I believe I don’t talk to blind people and If I do, the colour doesn't really matter anyway. So...
There’s not much in it. I can smell raisins and an oak, but not the fresh oaky type of oak, but a weird, soured one. Unfortunately these two things fly into your nose pushed by a punch of a fresh ethanol. 

There’s not much going on in your nose anyway. You can’t just poke your nose into a snifter and sniff and sniff for hours, that would be quite boring. Boring nose usually heralds a boring palate and there is no surprise here. There is oak, oak, and ethanol, and it burns both your mouth and your food pipe. Goes down and comes back as a burp of vodka. It’s all I can say about The Famous Grouse. Surprisingly it’s not as bad as for something which is around £13. It’s just not good, but there are quite a few other things for around £25 which actually are worse than that. It tastes cheap but at least it tastes like cheap whisky, and not a cheap vodka.

Notes to the “Chaps”.
If that’s delicious, bless you all.
If it’s well-balanced with notes of toffee apples and dried flowers, double blessing indeed. “Just a hint of spice and the vaguest whisper of smoke really bring a great deal of complexity.” Well, if you say so. For me all this blah, blah doesn't really bring anything to the table anyway.

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